Random Recollection

Starting a Travel Agency for Those Who Want to Leave America

Yatindra Bhatnagar

Travel agency is an exciting business that takes you to near and far away places, lets you meet with new people and culture and makes you feel Maharajas and Maharanis, of course, you should be willing to part with your money.

My bank is waiting.

The tourist season is warming up, though the winter time is fast approaching. I am not referring to the coming holiday season when people have some time to explore new places, visit relatives and friends and spend vacation time in new or familiar places.

I am excited to start a travel agency for a very different reason – migration. For now, only for ‘political migration.’ The election season has just finished in the United States and the results showed that an unlikely, and un-favored candidate - outside of the club of career political elite - has won.

This has sent shockwaves all around, especially to the Trump-hating celebrity world. Some people are so shocked, disappointed, disgusted and disheartened that they want to leave America and migrate to some other countries. They just cannot stand Donald Trump and the mere thought of spending a part of their future in Trumpland is revolting. They have said they will leave – or they had said if Trump wins they will leave. Some have already made up their mind about their future ‘homeland’ or ‘guestland’ and some are still looking for a destination.

I am here to help.

I am encouraging all of them shocked, disgusted and disappointed people to travel out of the United States and settle down somewhere else on this – or some other planet.

Yes, some have expressed their desire to go to other planets. Some to Mars and Jupiter and others to other lands. The common choice is our neighbor Canada – the ‘promised land’ for the disgusted Americans and all the ‘refugees’ of the world. These so-called Refugees are also being  welcomed in the US by President Obama, and their number will keep rising. For those disgusted by a Trump win who want to leave the US there is no clear and final head count, so far.

I am just trying to compile a list of prominent prospective clients.

Prime Minister Trudeau has opened his heart and the Canadian treasury, sent Canadian planes to bring them and make available houses – not easily given to Canadians - to the migrant from any country who claims to be a Syrian refugee. All the resources of that vast and beautiful country are at their disposal. It’s a very hospitable country.

[I don’t have to warn Trudeau of what happened in Germany, France and some other European countries who accepted, and continue to accept, a large number of ‘refugees.’ The doors were first generously opened by Chancellor Merkel of Germany who adamantly refused to modify her decision despite the situation in some places turning ugly with riots, violence and other crimes of sexual nature. Now there is some change, but not enough.]

However, that is another topic and unconnected to my travel agency.

In America we have prepared a quick, tentative list of celebrities who said they will leave the US. The list includes the top singer Barbra Streisand, an old-time close friend of Bill Clinton, and the Oscar winning actress of yester year, Cher. They have not yet approached me for their travel plans but I hope they will stick to their statements and decision to say goodbye to Trumpland.  

The names and preferred destinations of some celebrities are:

Canada-bound: Brian Cranston, Lena Dunham, Neve Campbell, Ne-Yo, Keegan Michael Key and Rosie O’Donnell (all to Canada.)

Will we miss Rosie?

The list also has Samuel Jackson wanting to move to South Africa, since Nelson Mandela has long gone, I suppose.

Another celebrity Natasha Lyonne has chosen a mental hospital and the Oscar winning actress, Cher, wants to depart for Jupiter.

I don’t book tickets to either place.

Miley Cyrus was weeping inconsolably. She said she is ‘certainly moving’ but destination is not yet confirmed. She used some words that only a singer of her ‘caliber’ and ‘status’ will use. I am not surprised as among those admirers of Hillary Clinton  are some other singers like Madonna, Lady Gaga, JZ and Beyonce who also use those choicest words not included in the vocabulary of ‘other’ people. Wow!

Barbra Streisand is also disgusted and wants to leave. She is a close friend of Bill Clinton – and also of Hillary. She said to an Australian journalist, “your country, if you let me in” or Canada”).

The same Barbra Streisand sang a special song directed at Donald Trump at a LGBT-for-Hillary fundraiser, Sept. 9, this year, in New York with Hillary Clinton present and cackling (a parody of the hit song ‘Send in the Clowns.’).

Streisand, of course, sang some other hits, made an eloquent speech for Hillary and concluded with "I hope that in a few months, I'll be singing this for the next President Clinton!".

Sorry to disappoint you Barbra, and Hillary, that occasion might be on some other planet, or in Australia or somewhere else where you would finally settle down.

But keep me posted. I have an e-mail account and not secured at all.

And now come to think about it. Did we not read a news story quite a few years back (when Bill was still in the White House) of Hillary banning Barbra from the Big Home? It was talk of the town, nay the world, that the legendary singer spent nights in the Lincoln bedroom resulting in her exile. But things changed – or they were shown to be changed. It happens, ‘strange bedfellows’ is a true term.

Don’t we remember what the current First Lady, Michelle Obama, had said a few years back about Hillary: “One of the things, the important aspects of this race, is role modeling what good families should look like. And my view, if you can’t run your own house, you certainly can’t run the White House. Can’t do it.”
[Michelle Obama, Aug. 12, 2007, remarks in Chicago, featured in an anti-Clinton attack ad when Hillary was seeking presidential nomination against Barack Obama.]

Well let me be out of all this maze.

Amy Schumer (Spain). Chelsea Handler (plans made and certainly moving). Jon Stewart (get a rocket and go to some other planet). Whoopi Goldberg (time to move, I can afford). George Lopez (we will all go back). Al Sharpton (reserving my ticket out of here). Eddie Griffin (Africa). Barry Diller (destination undecided).

While telling Bloomberg some time back, Diller was so sure Trump wouldn't win the presidential election that he'd "put money on it." He said: "if Donald Trump doesn't fall, I'll either move out of the country or join the resistance."

Sorry Diller, Trump has not fallen, he has rather risen to be the President-elect and if you are not joining ‘any’ resistance I am here to book a ticket for you to any destination where normal airline flight, train, bus or taxi goes. I will wait for your call.

The list also include Omari Hardwick (Italy), Raven Symone, Chloe Sevigny(Nova Scotia – Canada), Spike Lee (moving to the Republic of Brooklyn, New York).

Amber Rose (unspecified, but says she would take her son also).

Rose, if you can’t decide where to go may I send you a world map?

Sienna Miller (don’t know if I can stay), Kathryn Hahn (Iceland). Jurnee Smollet-Bell (Canada).

Jenny Slate (didn’t say she would leave but said: "If Donald Trump wins the presidency, a pig will fly out of my butthole, because it will be a nightmare.")

I am watching with curiosity.

Arnie Hammer (Caribbean to start a jet ski rental business).

Good luck my friend.

Michelle Branch is undecided, says: “any foreigner wanna get hitched?”

Surprisingly, one, Katy Hopkins seems to be unfazed by Trump win; it was reported that the British columnist would come to America.

Does it mean I don’t get my commission here? 

Whoopi Goldberg’s co-host at The View show Raven Symone had said earlier: “My confession for this election is if any Republican gets nominated, I’m gonna move to Canada with my entire family. Is that bad? I already have my ticket … No, I literally bought my ticket, I swear.”

She certainly didn’t buy it from my agency. 

[Similar ‘threats’ were made by many people – including Alec Baldwin, Cher, Eddie Vedder, and Pierre Salinger (former JFK Press Secretary) – when George W. Bush was elected. Salinger was the only one who actually did that and settled abroad.]

Another notable person is Ruth Bader Ginsburg, a justice of the US Supreme Court that said I will go to New Zeland. However, her zeal disappeared shortly after and she acknowledged that she was “ill advised.” Who “ill advised” her, I don’t know but I assume she said the statement was “ill advised.” I accept that. One traveler lost.

1.Will These Celebrities Actually Leave America Now That Donald Trump Won?

Would the celebrities who threatened to flee to Canada if Donald Trump was elected president actually go through with it? Following the news of Trump's impending presidency, rapper Snoop Dogg asked Canadian musician Drake to help him move to Toronto. In the weeks leading up to the election, Robert De Niro had said if Trump became president he would "move out of the country." Breaking Bad star Bryan Cranston threatened to leave America for its neighbor to the north should Trump become president.

1.Will These Celebrities Actually Leave America Now That Donald Trump Won?
Would the celebrities who threatened to flee to Canada if Donald Trump was elected president actually go through with it? Following the news of Trump's impending presidency, rapper Snoop Dogg asked Canadian musician Drake to help him move to Toronto. In the weeks leading up to the election, Robert De Niro had said if Trump became president he would "move out of the country." Breaking Bad star Bryan Cranston threatened to leave America for its neighbor to the north should Trump become president.

There are several others also but not yet confirmed. I am waiting.

Robert De Niro, the 73-year-old Academy Award winner, who said he likes to punch Trump in the face said (before the election) but left open  the possibility of leaving the country.

Please contact me Sir, whenever you make up your mind. Here is my phone number and e-mail address…...

Oscar winning actress Jennifer Lawrence has not indicated where she wants to go. She had said she was buying a one-way ticket but has the most shocking fear that if Donald Trump became President of the United States, the world would simply end.

There go all my clients. But no, the world has not ended.

These things do happen elsewhere also, for reasons related to elections and their perceived fall out some time later.  

Only last year some celebrities expressed their unhappiness for what they perceived as ‘Intolerance.’ They meant religious intolerance as a supposedly pro-Hindu political party, Bharatiya Janata Party or BJP, won the elections in 2014 and some time later they thought the nation was getting intolerant as they are Muslims and the huge majority of around 80%  is Hindu. Remember these two superstars of Hindi cinema . Shah Rukh Khan and Aamir Khan are adored by all, earn a whopping amount every year with their blockbuster movies. Still they thought the country (meaning its majority Hindus are intolerant forgetting that the majority has played a major part in making them what they are.

While Shah Rukh Khan limited himself to just ‘intolerant’ remark, Aamir went further to say that he and his wife (happens to be a Hindu) are scared about their son’s future (meaning in a Hindu majority country of intolerant people) and she had mentioned that we think about moving to some other country. While Aamir toned down his remarks and said he was born in India and would also die in India, later reports said that he has bought a big house worth 15 million dollars in the posh Beverley Hills area of California, USA.

That means loss of yet some other prospective travelers. 

I don’t know if like Aamir some others in the US would change their mind or would stick to their earlier decision to quit the United States. Though I don’t make decisions for them and would resist the temptation to advise them either way, I would still want my business.

Of course I don’t guarantee any resettlement for them in countries of their choice. However, I am sure these rich people of the elite group will have no problem in making their residence in any country they pick. And I am sure they will not settle in a radical, Middle Eastern or poor African or Latin American country, or a sometime lawless Mexico. 

1/15/17